Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You made out with two different species that night
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
