He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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