You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
