Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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