bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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