I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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