I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
