If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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