Christians are straight up FREAKS
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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