Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
