Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
