I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
