I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
