At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
