talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
