My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
