This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
