i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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