WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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