You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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