guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
