His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
