I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
