Jerry, you need to find god
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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