the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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