the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
