they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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