$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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