I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
