you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize