I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
