Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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