So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
