i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
