we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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