we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
