Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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