I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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