will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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