he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
