I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
