i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
