I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
