i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
