rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i out mim tonsoeep
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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