End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
