Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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