A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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