i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
