Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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