And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
