where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
