Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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