She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
