Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
