You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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