I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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