I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
