I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
