if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
