ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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