I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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