Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
