it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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