i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
