i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's shark week go big or go home
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
